An Interview With Max
by RawrFangMonster
Summary: Sequel to An Interview With Fang. Similar stuff. Max describes a day, is accused of incestry, and her motives for sucking on Fang's ear are explained. Oh yeah, the journalist...also ends up dead.


A/N: Hello, everybody. To my beloved IM fans, this in no way features Tony and/or Pepper. In fact, it belongs to another fandom. As you all are bright people, you already know this, and are only reading my A/N because you're interested in my writing, in which case I love you, or you are aware of Maximum Ride, in which case I also love you.

If the above doesn't apply to you, don't worry, I love you too.

Anyway, a few months back I wrote a story called 'An Interview With Fang', which was well-recieved critically (It was actually pretty stupid, but people liked it). I had a few calls for a sequel, and finally got my ass in gear. So today, I present to you, An Interview With Max. So much thought went into the title. It takes place after AIWF, but Max and Fang are magically not a couple anymore. I love Fax; this was only because the awkwardness between two crushes could not be replicated in any other situation. So yes, there are some continuity issues. These are deliberate. Adds to the parody thing, you know?

For this fic, it will help a lot to read the original. I like to think my writing has improved since then, but you never know.

Enjoy.

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**Disclaimer: I don't own Max. I don't own John Dillinger in real life, but my JD is, well, mine. Um...I don't own the other JD either. He's cool with that.**

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(flock present)

_While being technically 'on the run', the flock has agreed to another interview, with some stipulations_

Max: -sternly- Don't kill the journalist. I will cause you pain.

Flock: -wide eyes- No problem, Max.

Max: Good. The man is being very nice to us letting us have another one of his people. We are not to lay a hand on him.

Flock: Uh huh. Not a hand.

(journalist enters. Name is John Dillinger)

Gazzy: Are you for real? I saw that movie. Johnny Depp was awesome.

Fang: Dude. John Dillinger was a real gangster. -peers suspiciously at JD- Are you a real gangster?

JD: Um...no.

Boys: -groan- You should have said yes. That would have been so cool.

JD: Uhm...Anyway, this interview today is with Max. Thank you all for being present, but I'd appreciate the answers from Miss Ride.

Iggy: No worries, man. Fire away.

JD: -uncertainly looks at the contradictive Iggy- Right. So Max, what's it like having wings?

Fang: -groans- -puts face in hands- Not again...

Max: -glares at Fang- It is...well, it is truly special. It's kind of strange not fitting in with humans, but they don't get the amazing experience of flying. It's so cool.

JD: Well, there's roller-coasters, parachuting, hang-gliding, free-falling, artificial wings, open-air planes, human canon shooting, aerial-

Max: JUST SHUT UP, man! This is me having to try and deal with my freakiness, just shut up and leave me alone in my denial!

Flock: -is silent-

JD: -stammering- Oh- oh of course, Max. Um, so how do humans treat you? Can they sense the differences, or what?

Max: No. Humans are really unperceptive. They couldn't find their backside with two hands.

JD: -indignantly- Oh, so this is another coping method? Treating humans as inferior? Well, at least we aren't freaking weirdos.

Fang: Oh, you should see some of the weirdos we've met. Human, of course. You, my friend, number in those ranks. No mere mortal would argue with Max.

Flock: -still silent- -amazed at the length of Fang's ...speech. Ha, you dirty pervert-

Max: -bristling with fury-

JD: And now you come here, all high and mighty, and I've heard about your history! I picked the short straw! So here I am, doing my job, and you _abuse_ me!

Fang: Keep digging, man. You'll hit China.

JD: I'm trying to get a proper interview out of you guys, and all I get is this shit I can't televise. What kind of crap is that?

Fang: -crosses arms- -glares- There are children present.

Angel: -crosses arms- -glares too-

Fang and Angel: -look cute-

Nudge: -inwardly 'awwws'-

JD: -ignores Fang- So will you, for once in your life, actually act like adults and _answer the damn questions!_

Max: -glares with so much loathing JD shrivels a bit- As soon as you start acting professional, and stop arguing with your interviewees, this might be possible.

Fang: -inwardly sighs happily. He is getting off on this-

JD: -icily- Good. We've agreed. Now, what's next for you guys?

Flock: -exchanges worried looks-

Max: Well, actually, we planned to go without a plan.

JD: So what's the non-plan?

Max: Exactly that. A non-plan. It doesn't exist. There isn't one. Nope, nada, nix.

JD: -counts to ten- Okay. What's the first thing you'd do once you left this room?

Max: We'd wander around for hours, as this place is a freaking maze, debate asking someone, ask someone, get lost, get found again, get claustrophobic, find door, run outside like mad dogs, attract strange looks, find a toilet, run away from disaster that was the toilet, decide to find a diner, get lost trying to find a map to a diner, find ourselves, lose map, give up on map, get lost, find diner by accident, order tonnes of food, attract strange looks, eat tonnes of food, attract even more strange looks, get claustrophobic, run outside like mad dogs, take off, get caught in tree, fall down, grin sheepishly, lose Angel, swear loudly, find Angel, lose Iggy, Iggy jumps out at us, swear even more loudly, lose Fang, find Fang, he only went invisible, swear loudly at Fang, take off, miss trees, shout with joy, drop Total, dive grabbing Total, barely miss aforementioned trees, yell at Gazzy for dropping Total, fly off into the sunset, making sure we are far, far away from this place.

JD: -mutters under his breath- I said the _first_ freaking thing you'd do. -loud again- So, Fang, you turn...invisible? -thinks- These kids are so freaky

Fang: I thought this was Max's party, but yeah, I turn invisible. -turns invisible-

JD: Holy shit!

Max: -hisses- Children are present!

JD: Of course, sorry. Damn! Well, what do you guys eat?

Max: Apples, fries, chocolate, Twinkies, hamburgers, McDonald's, bananas-

JD: -laughs fakely- Ohhh, quite the hungry bunch, eh? Well, I won't keep you long. -thinks- These kids are sooo freaky

Angel: Hey! We aren't 'sooo freaky'!

Iggy: Kid, we have wings, eat huge amounts of food, kill people, sleep in trees, all have lovely singing voices, are astonishingly beautiful, crap in a hole in the ground, relate to each very different other clearly belonging to another gene pool as family, and never brush our teeth, yet they have sparkles so bright they blind you. Or maybe that's just Fang's teeth. -shrugs- And besides, you just read old mate's mind. That's pretty freaky, even for us.

Angel: -looks ready to cry-

JD: Thank you, Iggy. So you live in trees? Don't have a set home?

Max: If we had a set home, we wouldn't be living in trees.

JD: Is it a bird thing, or just out of necessity?

Max: Hmm, spiky uncomfortable tree branch or soft fluffy bed? I can't choose.

JD: Do you ever fall out of trees?

Max: -smirks- Not usually, but there was that one time when Fang here did a rather spectacular crash one night.

Fang: Max, it was your fault. I was simply trying to keep watch and you came and sucked on my...ear (you dirty perverts)

JD: -overjoyed at new direction for interview, which was slowing- Ah! You and Fang are a couple?

Fang: No. She just wanted to make me fall out of the tree.

JD: Really? Are you all so uncaring to each other?

Max: Dude. Uncalled for.

JD: You made him fall out of the tree!

Max: Only after he made me slip in the muddy puddle!

JD: Again, are you all so uncaring to each other?

Max: It's brother/sister love! That's it!

Fang: -looks crushed-

Max: -stammers- Which is, of course, a very beautiful thing, and can lead on to many other forms of love.

Iggy: Like incest.

JD: -laughs-

Max: -can't decide whether to kill Iggy or JD- -decides she likes Iggy better, but there will still be revenge involved- Mr Dillinger. As you said earlier, you've heard about our history. Let it be known it's close to becoming our present.

JD: WTF? Cryptic much?

Max: -rolls eyes- You feel near death?

JD: -looks around- No.

Max: -sighs- Subtly used to be so elegant.

JD: -gives up- Well, thank you again for that -steadily meets everyone's gaze- enlightening experience.

Max: A lot of problems, dude, but we'll say no probs for the camera -smiles fakely-

JD: Good luck with your incestual breeding. I wish you a short unhappy life that terminates behind bars.

Max: -can't believe what she has just heard- Did you just say what I thought you did?

JD: 'Good luck with your incestual breeding. I wish you have a short unhappy life that terminates behind bars'?

Max: Yes. -lunges at JD-

Flock: -stares as JD is beaten up-

Fang: -is getting off on this-

Max: -is beating up JD to the point of indescription-

JD: -is dead-

Max: F**K! NOT AGAIN!

Flock: -stares at everything except Max's face- It has to be said, Max. You just did what you told us not to. Hypocrite much?

Max: Do as I say, not do as I do. Now, help me clean this up.

Narrator: The flock attempts to once again go into hiding, hoping to never be arrested. Although in that eventuality, the younger kids made a pact to tell on Max.

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A/N2 'Oh god, no', you moaned, as you read the first A/N. 'She did it again. The original fic was awful, and she writes another one?' You read through the story, and groans became more heartfelt, and again you murmured in painful earnesty, 'If she does this again, I am without a doubt going to murder her.'

Actually, that's what I thought. My deliberating self-esteem issues. Oops. Anyway, tell me what you thought. It'd be funny if it was in the style of my version.

R&R?


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